Having boundaries is like drawing a line. One side has the things you are okay with and the other side has those that you are not okay with, don’t feel ready for, or make you uncomfortable. This line looks different for everyone, so you need to know where yours needs to be drawn. Setting boundaries is a way to teach your partner about your needs and let them know when something doesn’t feel right. You are allowed to put your needs before someone else’s needs especially if their needs make you uncomfortable.
What are your boundaries?
Physical: Are you okay with public displays of affection? Does receiving affection make you uncomfortable? Do you hate it or love it when your partner tickles you? Do you need a lot of alone time?
Emotional: Are you able to share what you are feeling right away, or do you need some time to think about it? Do you need your partner to be available anytime you have a crisis? When are you ready to say I love you?
Sexual: Do you need to get to know your partner a while before engaging in sexual activity, or are you okay with getting physical right away?
Digital: Do you post about your relationship status? Is it okay if your partner uses your phone? Do you want to share passwords?
Material things: Do you like sharing your stuff? Are you okay paying for your partner or vice versa?
Spiritual: Do you like to practice your religion with a partner or alone? Does your partner need to have the same beliefs as you, or can they be different as long as both are respected?
Source: New York Gov. (Opens in a new window)
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